How to create better habits and stick to them?
We can all have lofty goals and amazing New Year resolutions. We may even be very motivated. But sooner or later, your motivation will wane and you will struggle on your path to your dreams. What will you default back to? Your habits.
Since your habits are what determines your success, you should work on creating the best ones possible and sticking to them.
Start small and be specific
Did you know that improving by just 1% per day will make you 37.78 times better by the end of the year? That’s called power of compounding interest. It’s also good news: your habits don’t have to make revolutionary changes in your life every day. Slow and steady is plenty!
Trying to make a total overhaul of your life overnight will most likely be stressful and unsustainable. Instead, start small. For example, if you want to run a marathon, but haven’t ran in decades, start by running/ walking a mile and see how it feels. Gradually, increase how much of that workout is running. Then slowly add distance. You may not even do it every day. Try every other day? The point is: don’t burn yourself our by going too hard out of the gate.
Make your habits specific, too. You should know exactly what the habit will consist of, as well as where, when and how it will be done. Vagueness is not your friend. In the flurry of good advice for New Year resolutioners, I read somewhere recently a mention of a study that people who decided to block off time they would go to the gym were less successful at maintaining the habit than people who planned to go at some point during the day, but of course I can no longer find it. This is to say: be flexible. Things will inadvertently go sideways sooner or later. Instead of giving up, just take a deep breath, regroup and get back at it.
Create a plan and track progress
Effective habits require a plan. To continue the marathon example: find a training plan, customize it to your needs and start executing. It’s true for other habits, too. You won’t engage in your newly planned activities if you can’t figure out how to fit them into your life. You should also decide how his habit will evolve as time goes by. Some things will probably remain unchanged over time (healthy eating), but others may need to include progression (like increased frequency/ duration/ intensity of workouts).
Don’t forget to track your progress! New habit plan should include checkpoints to ensure that your new habit is effective and is benefitting you. For example, if you decide to learn a foreign language, make a checkpoint ‘able to read a menu at a restaurant and order food in that language’ or ‘able to watch a children’s show without subtitles and understand what is being said’. Whatever your new activity is, you should have something to show for it. Otherwise, how do you know you’re doing it right?
Make it a part of your routine
Incorporate the new habit into your daily routine, so it becomes automatic. It’s a lot easier to stick to it just happens as a normal part of your day. For example, I want to run in the morning. I have a dog, which is large and athletic enough to run with me. We run together most mornings (I do take rest days and she needs those, too). I have to take her for exercise daily and the main difference between a walk and a run is the speed at which we are moving. So why not get a solid workout for both of us?
You want to learn a foreign language? Since you are a person and subject to regular physiological processes (I assume), how about a lesson of Duolingo/ Rosetta/ another language learning app of your choice when you are in the bathroom for a bit longer?
Whatever your new habit is, make it feel like a natural part of your day. The less friction it causes in your life, the more likely you are to stick to it.
Get an accountability partner
So this one may not be my favorite, but it is effective for the vast majority of people: get an accountability partner. You know, like a book club where you discuss your reading will make you finish that book.
Choose your buddy wisely – you want your accountability partner to be somebody you feel comfortable being honest with. It won’t help if you lie through your teeth to your coach about having stretched every day (they can tell that you haven’t anyway) or if you avoid talking to them. On the other hand, your mom telling you it’s ok every time you skip the gym isn’t really helping either, is she? It needs to be somebody that you would feel at least a bit of shame to admit to that you messed up, but comfortable enough to fess up to.
Reward yourself
Dangle that carrot in front of yourself!
And there should be more than one carrot there. Look for rewards for small accomplishments, like a slice of cake if you make it to the gym every day for a week, and big ones, like a trip to a Spanish speaking country when you finish that entire Spanish course on Duolingo. Humans tend to chase dopamine, so make sure you are giving it to yourself to help with your motivation.
Be persistent and don’t give up
According to science, it takes on average 66 days to create a new habit. This is on average, which means you can take longer or shorter time. It will depend on how hard the new habit is for you and on your personality. Some people have an easier time than others. And that number is for how many repetitions you did, not time flow. So if you’re talking about going to the gym every Saturday, average would be over a year and four months.
Habits take time to form, so be patient and keep at it. You are likely to slip sooner or later. But don’t despair! Don’t look at your new habits as all or nothing situation. Life will get in the way. Don’t give up, just pick back up where you left off.