I have been very lucky in life: I have encountered people who were right there to help me achieve my goals. They were right there to encourage me or ask me just the right question. Just yesterday, I shared this image on my LinkedIn profile:
I was taught the power of ‘why haven’t you’ by Colin Browne from Under Armour. It happened in the office, but was focused on athletic activities. I was excited about getting a slot in the Disney Marathon and we got talking about sports. He is an avid triathlete and I said ‘oh, I always wanted to do that’ to which, you guessed it, he said ‘why haven’t you?’ And guess what? By lunch, I was signed up for my first half ironman race and since, I have finished the full one, too. I genuinely needed somebody to put me on the spot and ask me that question.
In case you need it, if you have your own ‘I’ve always wanted to do it!’, but haven’t done it, let me be the one to ask you: why haven’t you?
I haven't gotten around to it
I will never forget the chuckle I got over 20 years ago when my favorite math professor sent us an image not much different than the one above it with caption ‘Now you have a round toit. Go do your homework!’ Maybe it’s a piece of very nerdy humor, but it still makes me laugh. But it’s true: we put off many things in life without any particular reason. In those cases, just being reminded that your goal is waiting for you to achieve it, is enough. Go do it!
I'm scared!
Do it anyway! You will never feel 100% ready and you are just giving yourself extra time to come up with new reasons to be anxious about your goal.
How to tackle this?
First: just suck it up! I remember toeing the starting line of Ironman 70.3 Gdynia a few years ago and I had a complete nervous meltdown. My dad just laughed at me and asked if I realize that I signed up for it, paid for it and nothing depends on this. He was right. My next freakout happened when I hit the freezing Baltic Sea water. But at that point, I just scolded myself that this is the price of ‘glory’ and kept swimming (repeating Dory’s mantra from Finding Nemo: just keep swimming, just keep swimming). It all worked.
Second solution: examine what it is that you are actually afraid of. Once you know, you can work on mitigating those fears. Are we talking about a business venture and you are concerned about running out of money? Then make sure you have savings and a fallback plan. Is it an objectively dangerous activity (like diving)? Take classes on diving, talk to experience divers and learn about safety.
Third: talk to a therapist. I mean it, and not in a mean way. Finding a professional who can help you with your struggles is invaluable!
I don't know how
I have great news: you can ask ‘Professor Google’ for help.
All jokes aside: internet is full of sources of information, ranging from YouTube and personal blogs to online classes offered by universities and scientific research papers. You can say that your problem is unique, but let’s be honest: that’s rather unlikely. At least some answers to some of your questions are already out there. Let’s say that you want colonize Mars. Never been done, right? But this goal consists of smaller pieces that have already been done and have answers: you need to know how to build a space suit; you need to be able to take food into space; you need to know how people will behave being isolated and stuck together for an extended period of time etc. All of these have already been researched. Start there. Yes, there is a chance that you are looking for something original and you will need to troubleshoot. But that’s part of the journey!
Bonus: I lack resources
This is a perfectly valid answer. You may not have the money to go climb Mount Everest. It’s expensive! Or maybe you lack time to train for that Ironman because you have three small kids at home and they need their parents around.
You should start by making sure that you really don’t have the resources necessary. Maybe there are grants out there you could use to start that non-profit you always wanted to create? Or you are wasting a ton of time on watching tv and scrolling through social media, skipping of which would give you ample time to train for that 5k. Give it some thought – you may be surprised that you actually have what you need, but haven’t given it a serious enough thought. Remember – your circumstances change.
There is a chance that you are honestly lacking the resources to pursue your goal. Should you give up on it though? Definitely not! But you can start working towards it, even if it’s just chipping away at it little by little. One of the more common ‘I’ve always wanted to’ I hear in the US is ‘speak another language’. I speak multiple (I learned four by the time I graduated from high school), but I have always wanted to learn a non-European one. I can lead by example here (and I have a handful of people who joined me on this): basic Duolingo is free and you can chip away at your dream a couple of minutes a day.
Conclusion
That is all to say: chase your dreams! You may have a few extra steps before you are actually there, but procrastination won’t help. If you can’t do it just yet for a valid reason, work on removing that obstacle or to put yourself in the best position possible when the obstacle ‘goes away’.
Tell me what’s your ‘I’ve always wanted to’ and what have you done to achieve that goal 😊